Thoughts

I’m on the struggle bus. I bounce back and forth between “Wow, this life is beautiful and look at my kids and we’re all just HERE! In the UNIVERSE! We’re all connected! I love this!” and “HOLY SHIT. What is WRONG with the world? Why is everything so costly? Why do I need to worry about affording food and healthcare and why is it so expensive to just LIVE?”

And I’m tired.

I need to get a job. I need to get a real job. Sometimes I just want to throw everything photography and small business related out the window and go hunker down behind a desk and make a paycheck.

Other times I want to throw everything into photography and trust that it’ll all work out.

Which one feels better? Both. Neither. I don’t know. They both sound like daydreams and nightmares at the same time.

I have to remind myself that I’m just a skin sack, on a wet mossy rock, being hurled through space around a hot ball of gas.